If you’ve been feeling stuck in ways that suit everyone else except you, disconnected from yourself and wondering if you will ever escape to feel YOU again – there is never a better time to set that goal, than now! You retain both the key to your captive state and the cable to your reconnection, and I hate to be the one to tell you, but you’ve been holding them all along. Society just didn’t want that to be too obvious, because you’ve been doing so damn well in juggling your many roles and serving everyone else.
‘Feeling free’ as a goal to some may sound overwhelming and to some others, unrealistic – but broken down into smaller steps, and being able to work on things that will contribute to it, make feeling more of it totally achievable. Knowing and understanding yourself better is the first and greatest step to your freedom and giving yourself permission to be wholly and authentically you.
Here are ten ways that you can gain an inner sense of freedom back and to feel close to yourself again…
- Be self-aware. Freedom comes with knowledge and understanding of yourself and others. Your sense-of-self is formed through the perception you have of yourself and the perceptions others have of you, and is made up of your personality traits, abilities, likes and dislikes, your belief system and the things that motivate you. By better understanding these in the context of the restrictions and limits that society has placed on you, you will be empowering yourself to a sense of freedom you’ve not experienced before. Spend time reflecting on these things. Journaling will help to keep a record of your revelations!
- Ditch the guilt. The amount and frequency of guilt you feel is dependent on how your actions are aligned or misaligned with your values and how you process your emotions. Overcoming guilt is by no means quick and easy – but by acknowledging it exists, being more honest with yourself about your own needs, and by being kinder to yourself, you will notice a shift in you and your sense of freedom.
- Start self-serving consistently to nourish heart, mind, body & soul. Holistic nourishment means tending to these four components of self. Don’t make the mistake of thinking physical exercise is the key to your health. Being mentally and emotionally healthy is just as, if not more important. It’s about making time for doing the things you love to do. The things that light you up. Putting a fresh vase of flowers in your room every week, or watching an episode of your favourite series, learning something new, or spending ten minutes writing in a gratitude journal, may not seem it – but all are just as important to your health and wellbeing.
- Stop measuring your worth externally. You are so much more than what someone else thinks or says about you. Don’t rely on people-pleasing to feel good. Let your wants and needs motivate you more and don’t just act for the needs and wants of others all the time. Then start to pay attention to how you feel about your own achievements. Only you can FEEL your worth, nobody else.
- Follow your heart more. What is your big, sensitive heart telling you to do. Pay attention and be guided by it. Feel for your intuition and start to distinguish it from your rationale. Be led by Intuition and know that if it feels right, it’s right – even if the outcome does not match your expectation. Listen to your head, but trust that your heart will lead you to magical and meaningful places.
- Set your personal boundaries. Define your limits. Think about what supports you and what takes away from your wellbeing. Then make sure you openly communicate your boundaries to others and don’t be afraid to say no to things that don’t serve you.
- Stand up to your inner critic. Your inner narrative with yourself can be totally self-destructive. The best thing you can possibly understand about yourself that will lead to a fast sense of freedom, is that you are not your thoughts. What you tell yourself is not based on truth, but a story that you are telling yourself based on a belief system and past experiences. What you think leads to how you feel, and what you do or don’t do. You can be in your own way and holding yourself back, but if you can stand up to your harsh inner critic – challenge it with a softer, kinder voice… the sort you’d use with a friend in your situation… you can change how you feel, and act for your own benefit.
- Develop your vision and establish your values. You may have parked your vision for yourself and forgotten where. Your values have been with you, but not influenced your choices like they used to, before you got so good at putting everyone else first. And your boundaries have been so loose, that you’ve wandered incredibly far from yourself. The good news is – this is an incredible opportunity to rediscover them! Your vision and values can be re-established in line with who you are now and what you want for yourself. Then you can start to align your actions and behaviours with them so you feel authentic and purposeful again.
- Let go of perfect and stop fearing failure. Society continues to drive us to look externally for approval and to apply ourselves both deeply and broadly. Our expectations we place on ourselves as a result are often unrealistic and unfair. Perfectionism holds us back from so much progress and be the v=cause of much anxiety. One of the reasons we seek it is because we fear failure in the eyes of others. If you can let go of this fear and remind yourself that mistakes are growth… If you can put less pressure on yourself and set more reasonable goals… If you can start to see your efforts as success, rather than a pre-set outcome… you will regain a sense of freedom and potential that you never knew existed within you.
- Trust yourself and your journey. Last but by no means least… You will build self-trust through all of the above steps. Exploring your values, boundaries, skills, reconnecting with yourself, being guided by your intuition, self-serving and practicing being kinder to yourself will all help you to step out of your comfort zone, see fear as potential, build self-belief, and create a lasting sense of freedom.
If all this were easy, we’d all be high as kites. But it’s not, and it’s not selfish or shameful to ask for help with it. If I can support you in creating more freedom in your life to be you, fill in the contact form to arrange a complimentary Discovery Call.