Authentic Confidence

There is a huge space between forced and real confidence. Self-confidence is a quality most people seek and, particularly in the working world, confidence is often measured by how forthcoming and outwardly bold you are or how you promote yourself and your ideas with ease. However, it’s important to differentiate between authentic and superficial (ego) confidence, which results from insecurities and external expectations.

Real confidence feels grounded and calm, simply because it arises from a profound inner trust that remains steadfast and modest. It is a firm belief in yourself that others can’t touch or diminish because it’s so deeply rooted in the knowledge and understanding of your own worth. This is the hardest confidence to establish and to grow in, especially in a world where we are time-poor and taught to believe that others determine our worth.  Then there is surface-level confidence, which we can all find and force.  It’s likely to fluctuate depending on factors outside of ourselves and our control, like achievements, compliments, or insults. It feels volatile, false and fleeting – and comes from a place of fear rather than one of faith. It is often a deceptive self-assurance created by an insecure ego.

Building and growing authentic confidence

So what can we do to build inner, authentic confidence? Over time, we have inherited the belief – and had it consistently reinforced – that we need to be different, better. Society has taught us and tamed us and is constantly calling us to look outside of ourselves for solutions that will increase our productivity or enhance our appeal. We have moulded ourselves and created expectations of ourselves to the point that we no longer value how we are different and what talents and qualities we bring to humanity. We no longer value our uniqueness.  In a somewhat desperation to fit in, we no longer realise our true worth to the world.

And so the answer to greater confidence is to make a dramatic transformational shift from outward to inward.

The answer is in your willingness to commit to a journey of self-discovery and awareness that will help you to grow the confidence that will take you wherever you want to go.  So what will this journey look like for you?  On the path to greater confidence – the very starting point is in joining the dots to where you are right now. What has lead to you being and feeling exactly as you are and do, now?  You will replant the seed of belief that you are enough as you are and bed it in with affirmations and mindfulness. Then you will water and nourish that seed of worth through daily practises of reflection, self-love, care and gratitude. You will learn how to stop worrying what others think of you, how to stand up to your own inner-critic and let go of needing to please others over yourself. You will learn to create and enforce boundaries that protect your values and sense-of-self. You will reprioritise the things in life that light you up and inspire you to be the person you want to be.  You will become a learner again and be keen to grow in knowledge and curiosity. You will actively seek growth and potential from your connections and know when to ask for help and support. You will see failure as growth and mistakes, as necessary.  You will tap into your inner compass, re-evaluate your direction, and create a vision for yourself that guides what you do and how you do it.

That is the journey that we will follow in my 5-step framework to Authentic Confidence.

Ultimately you will be:

1. Seeing;
2. Being;
3. Freeing;
4. Believing;
5. And becoming.

My one-to-one coaching aims to cut through the superficial in our world and the impact it has on your wellbeing – and support you to build confidence from the inside – a healthy, happy confidence steeped in self-worth, trust, purpose, potential and a deep sense of belonging – that will take you everywhere they want to go, and perhaps further still.

Find out more about my coaching packages.